Two Turtle Doves's star Nikki DeLoach Shares Some Wisdom

Nikki DeLoach stars in the upcoming movie Two Turtle Doves , premiering November 1st on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries — and she’s shared some of her top tools with us! Nikki is also the co-founder of What We Are, a blog community that aims to unite women and give them a platform to share common experiences on issues they are facing today.

What was your inspiration for starting your blog, What We Are?

My bestie Jen Dede and I became friends at a time in our lives where we were tired of pretending that everything was great! You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been guilty of answering the question “How are you?” with a false “Great, fantastic, amazing!” We wanted to tell the truth and build an authentic friendship with each other. We wanted to be totally vulnerable and open with what we were going through in life. And we have certainly gone through it. Jen battled a painful fertility journey for 10 years. I battled suicidal postpartum depression and then Bennett’s health situation. Now I am losing my father to Pick’s Disease, a rare and aggressive form of dementia, at 65 years old.  We built something really special in our friendship and wanted to show other women that they could do the same. We also wanted to highlight all the incredible women in our lives! We wanted to show others that vulnerability is a superpower and it's only through opening ourselves up and sharing the things that we’ve been through that we take ourselves out of isolation and connect. 

We call Womaze your "toolbox for life" because we feature tools for mental health, self-care, relationships, body image, and more. What are some of your top tools for life?

Years ago I was given the advice that our most important job as human beings is to remain open. Whether you are moving through something painful, joyful, celebratory, or traumatic . . . just stay open. It’s especially difficult to do so when you are going through something that’s extremely hard because our first instinct is often to escape, deny, resist, etc. However, if you can stay open and vulnerable inside of all the feelings, that’s where the growth exists. That’s where the miracles and magic live. Meditation and exercise are critical to my mental and emotional health. The dopamine and oxytocin rush that you get from moving your body is super important. The stillness that you get from stopping, breathing, and turning within is a necessity if you want to live a life of awareness. Lifting weights is the majority of my physical training. I have osteopenia and lifting weights is the first line of defense. I eat healthy, lots of protein. I think of my being as something that is sacred. I honestly didn’t truly learn this until my youngest was born with multiple heart defects.  He had three heart surgeries before the age of two. Bennett is doing well, but our health is not given. Life is very, very precious.  Most importantly, give yourself a break. Be kind to you. Laugh, have dance parties, let yourself off the hook. You are probably doing the best you can. And if not, shift gears and get it together. You have everything you need right inside of you!

What is one challenge that you turned into an opportunity? 

I’ve turned the challenge of my son being born with multiple heart defects and my dad’s dementia into an opportunity to raise awareness and money for places like Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and The Alzheimer’s Association that are truly making a difference. I became a spokesperson for both organizations. I recently joined the board of CHLA. It’s been one of the greatest honors of my life to be a part of both. It is so important to turn your pain into purpose.  

What is one of the best pieces of wisdom and advice you've heard?

I’ll go back to what I said above about remaining open. It was a game changer for me. Feel your feelings and do not be afraid to walk through the valleys. Plus, don’t be afraid to share what you are experiencing with others. It really taught me that I can trust myself. 

What lesson are you currently learning?  

I am currently learning the self-care lesson and what that REALLY means. We think it means doing, but it actually means being. Just being. Yes, working out, eating healthy, pedicures, facials . . . that can all be a part of your self-care routine. But, all of that requires doing when sometimes we really just need to BE. We need to sit and watch a sunset. I get that we don’t always have the time to watch the sky turn from day to night but, we need to find that type of “being in the moment" in other ways. I am in the process of learning what that actually entails.  

What are a few of the things you're most passionate about?

I am passionate about my children, my husband, my family, and my friends. I am passionate about Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and finding a cure for Alzheimer’s. I am passionate about being a story teller and telling stories that matter!  

What's one message that you think the world needs to hear?  

Life is a gift. A very precious gift. Each and every one of us has a choice: to make the most of that gift or let it fall away. It’s important to have purpose in order to make the most of your life. I believe purpose to be two-fold. I believe our purpose in each lifetime is to 1) become the best version of yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and 2) try and leave the world better than you entered it. You grow yourself, you grow the whole. We are one. We are not separate. We are in this thing together. We need to put service first - service to the betterment of ourselves and others. 

Stay in touch with Nikki on Instagram, and check out Two Turtle Doves, premiering on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries on November 1st!