Communication During COVID Times, Calming Public Speaking Nerves & Getting Your Voice Heard with Public Speaking & Communication and Hollywood Dialect Coach Samara Bay
There’s no doubt that our world has changed, and one of the biggest changes has been in how we communicate (I’m looking at you, Zoom!). Behind the computer screens and the face masks, communication can feel less personal (I promise, I’m smiling under this mask! Cue awkward wave to person six feet in front of me at the grocery line). Amidst these changes, I think we can all recognize how feeling a sense of connection has never been more important — and that’s why we were thrilled to talk with Samara Bay — a public speaking & communication coach and dialect coach for actors in TV & film. Samara’s coached American & international actors including Gal Gadot, Rachel McAdams, Pierce Brosnan, Ricky Martin, Gerard Butler, Rosie O'Donnell, Miles Teller, Keegan-Michael Key, and Penelope Cruz. On top of all of that, Samara is also the host of the iHeartRadio podcast “Permission to Speak.” Read our conversation below on getting your voice heard, calming public speaking nerves, and navigating the world of video calls.
Leah Wiser: In the times that we're living in, methods of communication have completely shifted. Speaking up and being heard in-person can be a challenge, but getting your voice heard virtually through a Zoom call can feel like an even bigger task. What are your tips for presenting yourself in a powerful way virtually?
Samara Bay: Breathe. When it’s our turn to speak in a meeting we often assume people want us to go as quickly as possible so they can move on. Breathe to collect your thoughts, breathe to connect to emotions so you come across as more human during these times when we all yearn for a little acknowledgement of the weirdness even in business contexts. Breathe to remember that you’re in the meeting for a reason; your contribution matters. Do not apologize for taking up time and space.
Think about the 4 dynamics of voice (and of music!) – pitch, volume, pace, and tone. We have so many more options at our disposal than we think we do when our thin, stressed, don’t-look-at-me voice comes out . . . and if we’re talking about something we care about, we can be braver than we think we can about using these tools to our advantage. Practice when you’re alone: tell a story about a time when something ridiculous happened, and pretend you’re talking to your favorite people. When we’re feeling the most ourselves, we often use more range of pitch, our pace is more natural, and we fit the size of the idea to the size of the room – not too shouty or too withheld.
If it’s not something we care about, that’s a good challenge too . . . trust that if we’re presenting in a meeting context on Zoom that we can carve out “these are the things that matter, and I’ll speak about them in a way that matters so the info will stick” and “these are the boring bits we need to get through so I’ll rattle them off as efficiently as possible.” There are a billion nuances to these two categories, but the point is we can help signpost for people as we guide them down the path of our contribution to the group to be the best possible communicators.
LW: Public speaking can be super intimidating. Do you have any methods to calm your nerves before speaking in front of an audience, big or small?
SB: My favorite quick fixes for nerves:
First, as my favorite mug says: when in doubt, dance it out. Loosen up your body and connect to a little inner playfulness before anything stressful and you’ll bring more of yourself to the endeavor, and more joy.
Remember your why. Who are you talking to and what do they need? Can you turn even the most straight-forward presentation into an opportunity to inspire your listeners? Speak to them like you’re there to help, and you’ve got just what they need. Our nerves are about us; our relief is about them.
LW: In any relationship — whether a personal one, professional one, or otherwise — communication is key. How can we empower ourselves to speak up and be heard in uncomfortable conversations?
SB: There are all kinds of technical ways to express ourselves more effectively, but the shortcut (the psychological hack, if you will) is thinking about who you’re talking to and investing in their humanity and how you can connect with them, with everything you’ve got. Communication is a full-body activity and the bravest, and often most successful, communication is the kind where we bring our whole selves into the space: what makes us laugh, what makes us feel powerful, what makes us feel the most ourselves. People want to hear from the real us more than we give ourselves credit for.
LW: Lastly, do you have a favorite saying or empowering mantra that you give people to repeat to themselves before they speak in public?
SB: A lot of mantras help some people and backfire for others because it reminds them of their challenges – like “I deserve to take up time and space.” Instead, try envisioning someone who looks at you with love. Let them shine that look on you. Breathe and take it in. Sit with being appreciated, with being truly seen. Let yourself glow a little on the inside. When we’re lit up, we light up others.
Follow along Samara’s journey on Instagram (@samarabay) and check out her podcast, Permission to Speak!